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| Drops. Pixabay. |
You swallow, grit your teeth, and begin the best performance of your life. They won't give you an Oscar though. Despite everything you feel the small power of representing a character. Only those who have hurt you know that you are acting, but they do not dare to discover you. They are more confused than you, but at this moment you are not able to perceive it.
Overcoming the emotional debacle of feeling alone and surrounded by acquaintances is not easy. We are talking about those close people who suddenly move light-years away from you. Actually, you don't know if you start or end a story. The only certainty is that you cannot run away and you have to survive in hell. This would make a good plot for a sci-fi movie. However, it is as real and every day as life itself. A few seconds are enough for someone to hurt you to infinity.
When the glass bubble breaks into a thousand pieces
We are truly fragile beings. And sometimes we have to face disappointment, sadness, loneliness, and fear. We believe that we are fine with those close to us. What do they love us and who cares for us. That is the worst environment. Like in a glass bubble, you feel confident, safe, and protected there. You think you're safe, but life sometimes reveals a reality that no one ever taught you to bear.
What happens when your environment falls apart? That of friends, family, or work. There you are surrounded by people and in that circle you are part of a small tribe that guarantees you protection. You can't collapse there, at least from the outside. If you do you are dead. You are broken inside, but you make up the impossible to survive in the new scenario while you digest the psychological slap in the face.
You seem the same but you have to overcome the intoxication of emotions that torments you. You stop being the visceral person you were before. You abandon habits and generate resources to heal the wounds that have cracked your little heart. This is so because you cannot normalize what is not normal. However, unconsciously, you prepare to live a new reality that takes you away from the original scenario.
You wonder when you failed. What did you do wrong to get excluded? There's no answer. It's not you. Are they. What happens is that you are experiencing an emotional chaos of stratospheric dimensions. You are like in a vortex spinning in a spiral. You don't know how you got there, but you don't know how you're going to get out. And you don't have a plan because this was not foreseen. So you have to improvise.
Point of no return
You are already dead although you hide it so that it takes them a long time to realize that you have become a zombie. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Yesterday you had affection, complicity, and winks, of those who were, for you, your special beings on planet Earth, and today it is not like that. You were happy in that tribe and even though you were outside you didn't know it. Would it have been better to live in ignorance? It is not the case. It's time to swallow the toad and move on.
You raise your head and there you have them. You wonder how to get back to where you started and if you should go back there. And, deep down, you know that you are at a point of no return. You think about finding a magic formula because you insist on recovering the emotional state of before. It would be great to be able to travel back in time to happy moments, but you are still sad and you tie yourself like a burning nail to your black sorrow.
A tear slips down your cheek, followed by another, and another, and another. They are salty, you absorb them quickly so that nobody finds out. Strangely, you feel that you are safe. You ask yourself more questions. Namely: Do I need to return to the past? Deep down you know that it is about moving forward because you have all the answers. And, just like that, you find an ideal way to order your thoughts.
The five Ws (5W). If you are a journalist you will know what I am talking about. Twenty-eight centuries ago Aristotle published them in his book "Nicomachean Ethics". And they serve, as Lasswell later established, to communicate a message in a clear way. What, Who, Where, When, and Why.
A mental hug to heal wounds
And this is a method of rationalizing your feelings because it can help you bring order out of chaos. And that the chaos, from which it is not possible to escape, becomes organized chaos and, also, in the most fascinating and rare way of receiving the mental hug that you need now and, of course, all the love that you are capable of. to give you to feel a little relief. It is precisely at this moment, in the anxiety seems to win when you should ask these magical questions. For example, What (Broken) -Who (I) -When (Now)-Where (Here)-Why (Life). The message would be: "I am broken now and here for life." Not bad.
It is likely that you still feel bad because those close to you have not moved to another planet. They will continue in your circle of friends, at home, or at work. And you will feel the emptiness that will increase every day. So you will have to reinvent yourself to fill that gap with new experiences, sensations, experiences, or feelings that make you feel good.
You have in your hand the possibility of creating a new normality that takes you to a real situation. In fact, you have to admit that before you lived in an illusion thinking that your close ones felt respect for you. Now you, will be you, in your new reality. You will be, for a time, alone, but you will no longer be alone in the face of danger because now you know what you are up against. This is life and you have to live it.